2010 and beyond

I can not believe 2010 is coming to an end in just a few days! I can not even recall how it got started, the year seems to pass by in a flickering light. I was only reminded by a photo of a Xmas tree put up by a friend on facebook, is it that time of the year already? Yes, its time to put up the tree, its time to see Santa, its time for the festive decoration, its time for a new year resolution, its time to look back, ponder the present and plan for the future. Its time for many things!

Every year goes by with a determination not to miss this and that on the following year, what have I missed? nothing that I can think of, 2010 went by too fast that I didnt even have the chance to grasp it, it just slipped away while I was riding an emotional roller coaster....what a year!

I've chosen a different path throughout the year of 2010, I've decided to live my life and be myself, ignoring the mundane in the so called "society" around me, I've adopted a nonchalant attitude towards many things around me, concentrated on my loved ones, I told myself not to waste a minute on the trivial that is of no importance to my life. I spent a big part of my time alone if not with family, I keep up my yoga and gym routine, I frequent nearby restaurants and bars alone, I enjoy being alone, it is those moments of being alone that I am able to find myself back who is often lost in household chores; kids' tantrums; family matters. The solitude enables me to comprehend more on what life is about, to balance my energy and to sooth my soul! Being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely, my heart is full of love of my loved ones and closed friends, I need not the phony gathering where everyone is decked in the most expensive brands and the most ostentatious looks sipping top growth wines. With close ones, a simple glass of wine turns a meal into dinner, it is the bonding of minds that speak not the facade that tells!

We took several family trips this year, ski trip to Verbier in Jan, London/Milan in Feb, Bali in April, Summer in Provence, mid-autumn trip to Hangzhou and we just returned from Tokyo Disney. We began to explore Taiwan as we want kids to learn and appreciate local culture, we went to Taitung, Hwalien, Kenting, Yilan and we took several day trips to nearby "must-go". I personally took several trips to Shanghai, seems like a list we got but not enough, its never enough for me, travel is my passion, travel enriches my life, travel is the best education one can give the kids. I long to do more and more as the kids get older and as long as we can afford! Im planning more for 2011, I've decided to give myself 1 or 2 sole trips just to breath and rejuvenate my body and mind! It shall benefit both myself and the family!

"The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude" Aldous Huxley. I felt strongly when I came across this quote!

Hubby has been struggling for a career path in Asia let along what he has in Europe, the market has been tough, economy has been fluctuating, horrible stories and all these swindles we heard have made us more and more conservative and cautious on investments. Hubby took a new position in Shanghai which gave him less time at home. Do I like it? Do we like it? We miss him tremendously whenever he is away. Do we have enough to live? its always enough and never enough, isn't it? We are just trying to aim at a good amount of savings to semi retire in a few years so we can enjoy the globe as kids will be older and more independent.

As for myself, I've officially stepped away from a family business position after 15 years of more than a full time devotion, has it been easy? only god knows! will I go back? only god knows. I've decided to let go of planning after we passed 2/3 of 2010, I can no longer keep up with the changes in life, they whirl into my life like a thunderstorm, suffocate me and tangle my surroundings, too much to handle, to0 much to swallow, I've decided to let time and space pave out the road ahead, it was a struggle, I must confess it was not an easy process and I'm still adjusting to it.

Kids, my 2 beautiful devils from heaven! Sabrina will turn 5 next year, quick and smart and mature, she is in a rebel stage, drives me nuts....Chloe will turn 3 next year, she just started school and is picking up all the bad habits instead of the good ones! We are a family of 4 bonded by lots of love and passionate gestures, I only wish hubby can be around more! Victor and I have decided to send kids to local elementary school in the neighborhood instead of the prominent private school once they reach 6, wishing them to grow up being happy and understand the meaning of value, life is not what it seems to be, you just gotta earn it with hard work! As for their childhood, there is no need to worry too much about academic before they know the real meaning of it, life=the simpler the better, have a happy healthy one!

I shall continue my online holistic studies, yes, I've been tempted to just let go of it many times but "age" and "kids" have kept me going. Knowing that several people around me are still struggling with cancer, health is of utmost importance, happiness is meaningless without it. As for now, I still pray for my dear friend Aggie who is still in bed struggling with kidney cancer with doesn't know how many months she has left!

Kids gave me the strength and determination to be healthy and even healthier, mommy cant afford to be sick, knowledge on how to maintain and pursue our well-being is important, my studies shall continue. Victor managed to lose over 20 kg and he has been able to maintain his weight with his personal diet plan and pure walking routine.

Life, what is it? I've question it many times. Im still seeking the answer but Im coming close to it. I strongly believe it is to lead a simple life with loved ones with a healthy body mind and soul! As a quote I happened to come across on twitter : "Take care of yourself. Good health is everyones major source of wealth. Without it, happiness is almost impossible."

2010, I spent the entire year learning to let go, some say holding on is what makes you strong, but sometimes it takes much more then strength to just let go & move on, I cant agree more with this saying. The strength is to think that letting go is the beginning of a new life. Perhaps moving to Shanghai is the right choice for us.

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2011, wishing everything will be better in all realms........we need it!

Timex Ironman Taiwan 70.3, Oct. 30, 2010

Ironman 70.3 had arrived in Taiwan! Oct 30, 2010 was the first Ironman event in Taiwan, the inaugural race was unfold in Kenting, the southern tip of Taiwan. It included a two-lap swim in the small bay of kenting followed by cycling and running along the coastline.

My brother Renny who is an avid tri-athelete brought in the brand and hosted the event in Kenting. He has been busy since he signed the contract in March and spent more than 2 months in the south right before the event to prepare for this Ironman moment. The event would not have been possible without all these people who helped with maximum endeavor such as Howard, Alfa, Jackie just to name the very few since I know very minimal about the hard work behind it.

I went with my two toddlers so I have to admit that I did not wake up to witness the grand beginning of the event by the ocean but just being there for 2 nights already gave me the "feel", the "high", the "energy", the "vibe". I DO regret very much for missing the grand beginning after seeing all the manificent pictures and videos, I will not miss it again in the future!

We left Taipei around noon time the day before the event, as we approached the hotel after a 1.5 hour ride from the HSR station, one can feel the energy radiated by the presence of all the athletes. Seeing them taking their run or bike around the hotel to familiarize themselves for the event taking place the next morning. Cars and buses arriving loaded with all the gears, gadgets, families........busy checking into not only the hotel rooms but to the event, listening to the power point in 3 languages to brief them about the race, the location, the everything......it was the first for everyone......like an infant pushing out of the womb, so much to know......

While everyone was busy Halloweening, we were busy Ironmaning, endless time and effort was put in to make this first Ironman possible for Taiwan. Determination and perseverence made it happened, friendship smoothed up the hard work........the air in Kenting was filled with supports from everyone who participated in every way; even the mere presence of going there meant something deeply, moments were locked with warmth shedding from the forever childhood friendships with Renny, the event bonded many distant people, all of us were deeply touched by this very special Ironman. It just feels different than others, may be because it was the first, may be because it took place in Taiwan, may be because we know the person who hosted it, anyhow, it was a wonderful feeling.....can not be explained by words!

Bravo! It was an unforgettable experience for everyone who was a part of the first Taiwan Ironman 70.3, even if you were just a tiny tiny part of it......

birthday

I turned 41 today, its really just another day, Im not in the usual festive mood as I used to be, just too much on my mind....standing at a crossroad staring into the lights flickering unknowns....

I must say I did have 3 nice celebrations with my good friends! The first one was with my good friend Eugene and his daughter, the 2nd one was with my aunt Ellie and another good friend, the 3rd one was organized by my good old bro Mel and the gang! You will always know who is a true friend at the end of the day! Its not about the gifts, its all about how they remember your day and make the effort to spend the time with you!

Another really touching thing is this iPhone cat recording from an old schoolmate Nancy saying wishing me happy birthday and somehow she uploaded it to Facebook! Its the sweet gesture that makes it so meaningful!

This morning I saw a Tiffany box sitting on my desk with a tiny card next to it placed by my hubby the night before when I was asleep, as usual like a tradition! My hubby got me a square shape necklace, he wrote on the card "simple, fair and square, life isnt always so but you are always true to yourself, remain so for this is why i love my sweet little bee...." He always picks out a piece and writes up some sort of philosophical verse that symbolizes what he chose, he really should have become either a poet or philosopher or even a lawyer, never a businessman, sometimes I really dont understand why my mother in law pushes him into the biz world cuz he is just not made for it, he is too kind and honest to be in it!

Be true to myself, have I been so? is it really the way to be in this day and age? I really wonder!

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak...sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go." - Unknown

In this world it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich.... Henry Ward Beeche

yes, learning to let go.........40+1 is definitely a milestone!

random thoughts

Many of us or most of us spend a good portion of our time in our career, running in and out of the hustle and bustle, either trying to make a living or seeking to make more wealth out of what we intent. We overlook what is really important to us, health! Not just a strong physical but a good balance of mind and soul as well.

Money takes away the conscience, overshadows true virtues, brings out the very ugly side of human nature, power and status blind us, a never ending pursue of the higher, greed is the ultimate sin of all this....

Seeing too much around me, friends, relatives, even the closest kindred, full of lies, betrayal, hypocrisy, pretentiousness, sadly that nobody or very few knows or understands the word "content".....overlooks the most important thing is having good health and treasure what they already have.

Having seen enough all my life especially gone through several roller coasters the past 12 years, I have decided to live my life, spend time only with my love ones and the few good friends. Our time is too precious to waste on the mundane.

For my daughters, I wish them good health and happiness, only these are the real wealth one can ever attain.

melodrama

Winston Churchill said we are masters of our fate and captains of our soul, I wish I can say the same.
My fate has taken a different path, it seems to be flying away from where I wish the destination is. My soul is lost in this trance; still searching and finding its way out!

The past 3 years of our life has been like a melodrama and sadly, we are not even the actors/actresses. As if there is a director out there remote controlling the entire play!